Some days I wonder about the day I'll truly be happy. The day I'll wake up with a smile on my face and happiness in my heart. When I'll meet someone whose happy to see me. Happy that I'm alive, that I exist. I often wonder if this day will ever happen. Will I ever be happy? Or will these sad days repeat itself? Forever wondering. Forever wishing and dreaming. Forever crying.
Warm tears run down my face. My heart weighs a ton. My body is weak and I gasp for air. I tell God I'm sick of crying. I don't wanna cry no more. Won't you dry my eyes? You don't see me, your daughter crying? Then I think, maybe God doesn't think I deserve happiness. I don't deserve to be loved. I don't deserve what I pray for. And so, my tears dry. And I stop believing in love. I stop asking God for it. And I accept what I believe is true.