25 October 2012

J. Cole- I'm a Fool

I'm not sure if I've told you guys my love for J. Cole. But, I believe he is in fact the best rapper alive! Screw Lil Wayne (if he's still relevant) 2Chaaainzs, Chief Keef, and all the other lame rappers out at the moment, they're not saying anything important. I like how J. Cole has an equal mix of music that makes you bob your head, and makes you think about the world around you. This is one that makes you bob your head.

I listened to Kendrick Lamar's "good kid,  m.A.A.d city" btw. Not a fan. Extremely boring, and I swear one of those songs was like 12min long...according to youtube.

-love and fireflies

I will not chase you

I asked myself a question,
Do you think you're scarred from your relationship with -A?
Heck yeah!!!
I extended my hand,
correction, I over-extended myself,
I reached far, far beyond my capacity.
So far in fact, that I fell.

He never grabbed me.

He never reached out far enough to touch my hand.
He would twitch his finger, make me think he was about to give back to me what I was giving. But he never did.

So I fell.

F-E-L-L, I fell to the ground.

I embarrassed myself,

I lost self esteem,
I lost hope,

my smile,
my laugh,

My joy,
I lost understanding,

I lost my trust in God,
I lost my peace,

I lost, myself.

 So when I finally stood up, I decided that I would never again, do what I did with him.
You wanna walk away!?

So be it. Walk away.
I won't chase you.

Now granted, I will reach out, I'll extend my hand, but only so far. If you don't grab my hand in time, I'm snatching it away real quick and it’s not coming back unless God himself tells me, "LaVonia, be nice, and reach out to that person."

I don't believe I'm angry though.

If I am, I pray and ask God to release that.
Because I don’t wanna be angry. That's not good.

But I will admit, that that "relationship" changed me.
It changed my mentality.
It changed the way I view people.
Because of him, I no longer over extend myself,

I no longer chase people,

It’s almost like I welcome you to walk away.

This way, I can filter out all the fakies.
I know this makes me sound angry, or cold hearted, But I'm not. I pray to God that I'm not. But, it's important to learn from your mistakes.

The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over again but expecting a different outcome.
I would be insane, to do this all over again with everybody else. And I understand that not everybody is like him, and again, that’s why I said I will extend my hand. But if you don't take my hand, I'm not going to force you.

-love and fireflies

18 October 2012


Can I just say how much I hate to hear Romney speak? He is utterly rude, he never answers the questions given, and he's constantly caught in his lies.
Tuesday's debate: I wanted to throw my shoe at the TV, but suppressed my aggression. I don't appreciate Romney telling the people (us) that he's going to make everything better, but never goes into detail on EXACTLY how he's gonna do all these miraculous things. How can you lead a country with no clear path on how to get there? Secondly, I, along with the rest of my TL on twitter,  did not appreciate his disrespect toward the President. After numerous occasions in which Romney interrupted the President to straighten out his own lies, he had a problem with Obama interrupting him during one of the questions. I wonder how Michelle felt at that moment.
Neither candidate is perfect, in my opinion, but I think it's important to weigh out the pro and cons. For me personally, Obama has more pros than cons, and that is why he will receive my vote come Nov. 6. Although Romney and I are in agreement about gay marriage and abortion, I've heard too many negatives from him that directly effect my life. Supposedly, he said that the only people who deserve to go to school are those who can afford it. (pause) So what he's saying is, I am unworthy of an education because I and my parents do not have the funds to pay for it? False. Yes those with the most money typically have a better education and a better job, but that's only because they can pay for it! They don't have to dig themselves in a hole only to repay Sallie Mae with the money they made from their job in which they went into debt for!
He also feels that parents should be the ones to pay for school, out of their pockets, as though we're all rich and can afford to pay thousands of dollars per year. Not so.
Back to Obama. I think voting him out of office would be a bad idea solely because I feel like his job is not done. We're in a middle of a race in which we cannot afford to turn around and change drivers. I'm sticking with Obama, I think the promise lies with him.
(I did not mean to make the majority of this post about how much I don't like [not hate] Romney)
-love and firelies

How many times have I apologized?

I've lost count on how many times I've apologized for the neglect of my blog and followers. I'm quite sure by now my followers couldn't care less if I blogged or not. And there is honestly no excuse for my lack of blogging. But nontheless, I will make a conscious effort to take time to blog. Writing is one of my few healing mechanisms.

-love and fireflies