MediaTakeOut.com learned that a blogger named Deborah Cooper set off a FIRESTORM when she posted on her blog, SurvivingDating.com, a new THEORY on why so many of us Black women are single. And according to her, it’s the CHURCH that’s keeping us single. Here’s the author’s THEORY:
Black women have an inordinate amount of faith in both Black men and Black churches. My position is that such blind and unwavering faith in either is misplaced. It is my belief that the Black church, structured around traditional gender roles which makes women submissive to and inferior to men, greatly limits females.
Single Black women sitting in church every Sunday are being subtly brainwashed, soothed and placated into waiting without demand for what they want to magically come to them. Who is doing this to Black women? The male standing at the front of the Church in the role of spiritual leader, that’s who!
And of course, CNN couldn’t WAIT to jump in and BLAST the Black church. Here is what they’re reporting:
Big Miller Grove Missionary Baptist Church, a predominately African-American Baptist church in Atlanta, is holding a seminar on the question of faith's role in marital status on August 20.
"Black women are interpreting the scriptures too literally. They want a man to which they are 'equally yoked' -- a man that goes to church five times a week and every Sunday just like they do," Cooper said in a recent interview.
"If they meet a black man that is not in church, they are automatically eliminated as a potential suitor. This is just limiting their dating pool."
The traditional structure and dynamics of black churches, mostly led by black men, convey submissive attitudes to women, Cooper says, encouraging them to be patient -- instead of getting up and going after what they want.
-thankyou mediatakeout for this report...
Now let me tell you MY opinion.
My church does teach women to be submissive to their husband because God has put man or "the man" as the head of the house hold. I will admit, although I do have a strong faith in God, I do often question rather or not I actually want to get married. When I hear the word "submit" or "submissive"...I think slave. I think of a person bowing down to another person. I have know problem following or standing behind my husband, but, I need to feel as though he treats me with respect. I need to feel as though the things I say are heard, considered and just as important to what he's saying. I think black women struggle with this because of things in the past. Although we as black women in the 21st Century have never been in slavery, and we never had to deal with unequal rights, sometimes it seems like being a wife is being a slave. I have often thought "if I have to slave over a man, I don't wanna get married" because this is what it seems like it is; Slavery. The church teaches us (females) that whatever the man says goes. I guess I see what Deborah Cooper is saying when she refers to the preacher as the culprit. In most cases, The Preacher is a man telling other men and women that a woman submits her husband. Of course, a man wants his wife to obey him.
So, that's my opinion. If this is indeed true, "woman must submit to man" then I don't want to get married. God never said you had to get married.