04 December 2010


Opening my eyes wide to fathom where I was at
I'm blinded by darkness, I cannot see
Frantic, I feel around and a ton a weight falls onto my right lower leg
Screaming out into the darkness hoping that someone will hear me, but nobody answers
I scream out again, still no answer, I scream out again. Still, no answer.
Overwhelmed by aggravation and fear I slap the ground with my long fingers and it seemed as though the sting travelled through my hand, up my arm and down my body sending a sharp, agonizing pain through my shin
It hurt so bad I cried and I cursed for what seems like an hour. But by the time I got done crying and cursing, that sharp, agonizing pain was still there.
My head falls back onto the wall that holds me up
Warm tears fall down my face and I whisper, somebody help me, please.
Despite the horrific pain of my shin I stand up and stretch.
Looking all around, the darkness begins to fade, little by little I see tall images towering over me.
Little by little these tall towers become boxes filled with memories, swaying back and forth, back and forth.
Timid, I try to walk without my limp leg ejecting to the side, so that I may use my own leg, as a crutch, and swinging my other, good leg forward, my body hits the tower of memories standing next to me.
Down comes the smell of momma's perfume and the sound of daddy's love song to momma.
Down falls my sisters blankets from when she was a baby
Down comes my leggos,
Down comes the dolls I didn't played with,
Down comes a 3 candled birthday cake,
Down comes the noise maker that my Uncle Kenny
took from me
and Down comes the joy from early childhood.
And as I smile, I feel warm tears fall down my face.
Limping forward again a couple more steps, there's a small fire off in the distance
Careful not to knock down any memories because I am afraid of what may fall on top of me, I hobble a little slower.
Every step I take brings me little closer to the burning fire. 
Hobbling forward I see a tower entitled, Kirby and as though my shin recognized the word I am stabbed by another sharp pain.
Crying out I fall to the ground, and knock over the Kirby Tower.
Down comes my self-esteem
Down comes my loneliness
Down comes the hopes of having a boyfriend
and Down comes my first broken heart.
It beats slow and steady. It bleeds deep red from a gash in the front. Examining the heart a little closer I see more open wounds than healed wounds. 
Holding my own heart and simultaneous with the rage within myself, the fire ahead of me blazes high and smoke fills my location. 
I place my wounded heart carefully in my hoodie, and move forward.
This time as I try to walk I carry my leg in front me.
Right, left, right, left. I breathe heavy.
And as I am saying this pattern in my head I see a person standing in front of a wall. I stand there confused, unsure of where both he and the wall came from.
A pretty smile comes across his face and he says "Gimme a hug, I miss you"
I hop over to him as fast as my legs will let me and he greets me with a warm embrace. It is like everything around us has stopped. The towering boxes have stopped swaying back and forth, my leg has stopped hurting, the smoke has cleared and there is only me, and him. Every pain that I had previously felt didn't matter any more because there was only me, and him.
I looked up into his face to see his pretty smile once more but it was no longer there.
His face became unfamiliar and he pushed me.
Once I hit the ground, everything that had stopped started again.
Boxes began to sway, my leg was hurting, I breathed in smoke, and he disappeared.
As I cried once more, my memories began to fall endlessly and I could not stand up.
I laid back, and I was blinded by darkness once more.

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